Expectations 2

 
Let's discuss how to shape other people’s expectations of us. 

We train others what to expect of us. We do it every day. 
The girl (#1) that receives raves every day from a girl (#2) that she never compliments? 
That second girl is teaching the first girl to use her without giving anything back. 
Girl #2 will likely follow that pattern through life, always giving more than she gets, unless she learns to assert herself. 

In school, when one student needs scolded at 10am, if a teacher then treats everyone poorly until lunch, and they let her, those students are training the teacher what to expect of them. Speak to your teacher privately about this, if it happens to you. This tells her that you have expectations of her. Perhaps school administration doesn't support her by helping out with discipline.

But then, what has your teacher learned to expect of you? 
Do you pay attention when you should, turn your homework done on time, and come to class every day? 
Life is a two-way street. 
You can’t expect a teacher to care more about your education that you do, though many do. 

Is your Dad coming home crabby? Don’t just run to your room; ask him if you did something to make him angry. 
There are days my kids should have asked me these questions, not that I blame them. My fault. I was crabby at times. 

And what else should kids expect from parents? Lots of things, some expectations are reasonable, some not. 
A cell phone at 4 years-old is unreasonable. 
Expecting basic safety at home is reasonable.

There are children who have reported their parents to the police for using drugs. 
Some parents think they can could do drugs in front of their children and they would stay silent. 
They can be wrong. Some kids have higher expectations for their parents. 

There are moms who have boyfriends that try to give ‘bad touches’ to the kids. 
The police should know about this, because, even if that mom throws the man out, 
that man will go to another woman with kids and try the same thing. 

Kids cannot make adults bad. 
When adults are bad, it's because the adults want to be bad, 
and us letting them do bad things, or letting them slip away, won’t make them be good. 
They will just be bad to different people. 

There was a scandal uncovered where an Olympic gymnast doctor, Nassar, (photo above) was accused by over 300 young females of inappropriate touching them. The FBI was contacted, but failed to handle the reports properly. Why? 
Because when official helpers (like the FBI) care more about the accused than they do about the victims, the official helpers will help evil, powerful people escape punishment. 

So, if someone bad-touches you, you have family, your school nurse, and 911 that you can contact. 
Let them know that you have expectations of them. 

Because of the Nassar Scandal, and many other reasons, the FBI has not met my expectations; in fact, they have grossly violated the expectations of anyone who has read the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights.  

Finally, your fellow students and neighbor kids need to understand your expectations of them. 
Cousins and other relatives need to understand your expectations of them. 
Your expectations are made known by the way you let people treat you. 
You are not royalty, but neither are you their slave.

Eric J. Rose 
middlegrademysteries.com 
photo: reuters.com
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